sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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