$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
