Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
