lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
