you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
