I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
