new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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