escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize