ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
