i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
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Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
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Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.