he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
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I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.