I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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