Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
