At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
