he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
