I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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