The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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