i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
