she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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