you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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