i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
