he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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