The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
how drunk are you?
Several
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize