I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize