i just wanna soil my oats bro
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
