i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
