I hope mine doesn't look like that
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
