Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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