I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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