Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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