I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
