So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
