that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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