He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
