he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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