She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
