She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
A+ Viking dick
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
