bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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