I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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