Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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