the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
