And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
