After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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