Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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