i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
