I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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