exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
