yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
