I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
