areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
where am i from again
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
