I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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