names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
40s are totally the cure
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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