omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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