never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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