When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.