Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?