Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office