a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dear god my vagina.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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