I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
