Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
