I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
soo... how was my night?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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