So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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